Well My Bitches…it has been months, literally, since my last post. Let’s just chalk it up to a production break between seasons of my blog. Bwahahaha! Anyway, school has been a bit harsh and has been demanding a lot of my time. Statistics is one of the hardest classes I have taken thus far in my education career. Most of the other students in the class have failed it at least once and this is either their second or third time taking it. Statistically speaking that means each one of us is, wait…I don’t know what the hell this means statistically since I’m not doing so hot in the class. Ha Ha, stupid bitch.

Anyway, my new goal is to post more on this damn blog than I have been. I will not promise anything, except that I will backhand a child in the near future, but I will do my best to continually add content to this here blog. Initially I setup this blog to house my thoughts and feelings on the stupidity of mankind, but have found that to be too taxing. Instead of writing on the ghetto fabulousness of stupid people, I end up going home, taking five Xanax and drinking myself into a coma to deal with the harsh reality of our government putting a moratorium on natural selection. Remember, “Stupidity only hurts its victims, not its champions.” (Thanks Mike and Nathan!)

I am hoping to add a little more to the format of my posts. I will still post my witty repertoire and quips about my constant hatred of the human race (DEATH TO HUMANS!), but I thought I would chronicle my way back to healthy eating. In layman’s terms: a diet. Yes, it is true. I have gained back 35 pounds since my great weight loss in late 2008 and 20 of those pounds have been since January. No matter how much I want it and try for it, I just can’t bring fat and nasty back. And since Justin Timberlake already brought sexy back, I really have nothing to bring. “It’s already been brought-en.”

In an effort to catch you all up on what I have been doing over the past few months, I have compiled a few points of interest for you. (Is it just me, or does this post seem to go on and on?) Anyway, here they are…

January: I voted: Coco FTW please. I also met someone, and that’s all I have to say on the matter at this time, oh and I gained 7 pounds.

February: I thought long and hard about this month. Do I talk about the great Valentine’s Day I had or all of the fabulous homes I toured during the Parade of Homes? No! What totally made my month was watching a child do a face plant as it tried to run through the mall. Bwahahaha! Priceless memories, oh and I gained 8 pounds. Phucking candy.

March: Went to Vegas for spring break weekend. Went shopping, ate at P.F. Chang’s (twice), rode the roller coaster at the New York New York, and went to Blue Man Group. I got pulled up on stage from the audience. IT. WAS. AWESOME! I totally blue myself. (See photo below) I have also gained 5 pounds thus far.

Somewhere in there I also instituted a personal ban on Café Rio. It’s too much to go in to, but let’s just say they are “champions.” I think that may be all for now, but I will keep you posted and continue to work on updating this blog. OH!, before I forget, I did upload some new music to the player. I hope that you enjoy! TTFN!